Unlovable.

So... I work in an office. In my office, there are people who have plants.

I don't like plants in the office. Don't get me wrong, they're pretty and all that. It's just that when people over water them, they bring in these little gnats and stuff... grosses me out.. makes me nuts.

Plant owners think everyone has to have a plant. Not just them.

Some one I sit next to has a plant.. and it's over flowing to MY desk. I think she thinks I should be happy about this... I am not. It's crowding up MY things and I don't want it there. If I wanted it there, I would get my OWN plant to allow to over grow.



If this was a yard at a house, and her plant was in my space, I'd be allowed to cut it.. but in the office, I have to pretend it isn't pissing me off.

Someone even bought me a cactus. She didn't see me as a desk plant person (I wonder why) and said I "needed" a plant... so here's my "plant".. a cactus.




I don't mind the cactus so much to tell the truth, but I'd rather have it at home.

But I can't TAKE it home, or I'm the asshole who is rude when given gifts.

Know what I DO want? Flowers. I wouldn't mind having some flowers on my desk.

I can't remember the last time I had flowers sent to my desk. Not even on my birthday last year. Not mother's day.. not Valentine's... not ever. And if you don't feel sorry enough for me yet... listen to THIS.. my last birthday, I had lunch at my OWN DESK! Let me tell you, I was feelin pretty picked on... although, again, it does force me to take a long hard look at myself.. and wonder.. why? Why would I not have people banging down my door to do something with me on my own birthday? Am I that hateful? That and the cactus... maybe I am a cactus. No flowers, ugly cactus.



I'm not trying to hint here for flowers.. not at all. In fact, I'm thinking maybe I haven't really done anything to DESERVE them.. but not even flowers from my mom! There's a woman here who's mom heard she was having a bad day... sent her a FRUIT basket! ... And also some flowers. Her own mom. It wasn't even her birthday.

Maybe I don't treat my mom very well to deserve flowers, either. But that doesn't make me not want them.

Maybe I should send myself flowers. (Be easier than trying to be a good person who is loved and adored and gets flowers all the time) You can get flowers for three to five bucks.. the thing is, I know someone would find out that it was really me. And then it would be "Oh look... cactus girl has to send herself FLOWERS! HA HA HA"

There's another woman, I used to work with... her husband sent her something EACH day of Valentine's week... and then on Valentine's, he sent EVERY WOMAN ON HER TEAM a balloon and a candy and a stuffed animal! I was lucky enough to be on her team one year.

You gotta like a guy who treats his wife's friends/co-workers that well.

ALL week I was jealous... and then I got something too...

(I was still jealous)

She must be good in the sack, that's all I can say. I bet she gives ragin` blow jobs.

Anyway.. kinda got off the plant thing there... the thing is, I don't want a plant. Now I'm stuck with some woman's plant and another woman's idea of what I should have for a plant. And I have to ask, what is it about me that make people think I'm not a plant person, but I should have a sharp pokey unlovable cactus??? You can't stroke and love a cactus.... but then again.. maybe that's why I don't get flowers on my birthday.