Doing your best is overrated.

Mother's Day is coming.

I hate Mother's Day. I can't stand how for one, it's more reason to let a mother be an asshole.. you know Father's Day rarely gets the same level of hype. But Mother's Day... oh yes.. you have to go all kinds of nuts for a mother.. or she'll cry or be deeply injured.

My mother is the worst. She's the worst in the regard that she doesn't want you to DO anything... she says she prefers something home made.. even a card.. maybe if you'd go to church with her (Fuck that) or even just call her up.. that would be wonderful.....

She's very convincing...

So if you DO just the "minimal"...that SHE asked for.. she is unhappy..

You won't hear about it until you are in one of her famous email fights. Or verbal fights.. one of the fights where she accuses you of turning your back on "the family" because you didn't take a week off for Thanksgiving and stayed in a house with your brother's mistress. Forget the fact that most people meet for T.G. DINNER and then go HOME. Forget the fact that we stayed three days... and that was very big of me considering the fact that the mistress being there was a "surprise". Forget the fact, that *I* can not take that kind of time off work for the holidays. I turn my back on my family.

But if you think about it.. they turn their back on ME.

It is a well known fact... well known, but unspoken..... that if you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day SAINTS, and you have someone in your family who has "fallen away" you need to try your best to coax them back... sometimes root beer and rice crispies suffice. Other times, it takes constant stalking of two young men or women, in white shirts with name tags to do the trick.. or other stalkers from said church... however, when you have a "sheep" who is lost.. and has gone as far as to say "I do not believe in what you do. I choose a different path than this"... the unspoken, but well known is... scrape them off.... treat them in a way that will make them feel and be alone. They turn their back... when they "Choose the Wrong"

It wasn't just me who turns back, is all I can say.

If I don't do anything,for her on M Day, I'll feel bad.. if I DO.. I worry it won't be enough. And why do I do that? Why care?



I do love my mom... I love her very much.. but sometimes, I do not like her.

And I guess that's okay.

I could tell you STORIES about my mom. And maybe I will have to do just one a week.

But man oh man... could I tell you some crazy stories.. most of them even TRUE!

As for what to do for Mother's Day.... I'll have figure that one out. Like I said, it's hard because if I say I want to do X, she'll say it would be a better idea for me to do Y. X is a bad idea... Why on Earth would I do X??It's always too much, and never enough.