I've been joking about it... but I realized the other day, I have a crush on someone at work.
It's not a sexual crush, so it's pretty complicated. And she's a girl.
THEN I "found out" she's gay... I still don't think I'm ready to have sex with her... or whatever it is that girls have... but I thought I better make sure it's actually a (non sexual!) crush..
I looked up "How to tell you have a crush" .... and I was honest with myself.
1. You felt a passionate desire to be with the person with whom you are infatuated.
CHECK! Every time she walks by, I find myself trying (in a cool kinda way so I won't seem desperate!) to get her attention. She's very VERY funny. When I DO get said attention, I am SO excited. Is that normal? It is if you have a crush! After she leaves, I think about all the funny stuff she just said to me.... *swoon* I'll even think of funny stuff she says to other people... she has a wit like no other... not to mention GREAT timing.
2. You experience the "High and Low" syndrome: mood swings depending on how the person you are infatuated with responds.
Check :(
I feel all butt hurt if she walks by and doesn't stop to say hi to me... or if I try to say hi, but she's busy.
3. You find yourself daydreaming about him.
All damned day and night long. Sometimes I want to see her "room mate" so I can size her up and see if I could steal my crush.
4. You feel a hungry feeling when you are away from him.
I do.. but this is usually because I go home at dinner time.
5. You need constant reassurance from him.
Sigh.. yeah.. I like her to come by and laugh at me.
6. Your life becomes focused on him. You may even change your life to accommodate him.
This is where things get iffy... I may very well start to play for the blue team over this girl... I wanna go everywhere with her. I want to take her to meet my family (Ok, just to mortify them, but still) and I want to share clothes.
7. You live in constant fear of rejection or abandonment.
I don't know about this one.. not for a crush anyway... this is something I save for people who actually love me. I have nightmares about the people leaving once I HAVE them... but not for a crush.
8. You feel a deep need for your feelings to be returned by him.
Not only that... (him is a her in this case, by the way) I wanna be her favorite work person.
I think about her.. laugh at her.. and when I go home, I brag about her to my significant other.
He knows I have it bad for her. He's just come to accept it. ;)
Oh God here she comes!!!
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I'll bet he just TELLS you he's come to accept it and he's REALLY just waiting for the home video...
ReplyDeleteIf MY woman (whenever I get one) starts talking about her work lovah, I would just sit at home and cry and cry and cry...
Between sobs, wouldn't you just have to think "What if they invited me to join them" just a little? I mean, a home video is ok and all, but if a guy's gonna dream, a guy might as well dream big.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe this is being cheapened by suggestions of video. You know, first of all, we are in a very digital world and one would THINK I would simply use my phone and then upload it to youtube. However, like I said, this is nothing sexual.... as she hasn't invited me over .. yet.... and this is something that is simply bigger than me for now.. but the both of us soon enough.
ReplyDeleteHer "room mate" is named "Melissa" and I was thinking, wouldn't that be perfect? She could accidentally call out Melissa's name and I'd never be the wiser. I find it's better just to not know such things. Win/win.
AND, you could wear the roommate's underwear, and no one would know, because it would be the same name written in the back.
ReplyDeleteWhat if it's Melissa Ethridge, and your crush made you sing "I Wanna Come Over" before you could go to bed?
ReplyDeleteNot so awesome NOW, is it?
I would have to tell her I just don't know the words.
ReplyDelete